Feed Your Mind

"The difference between real material poison and intellectual poison is that most material poison is disgusting to the taste, but, intellectual poison, which takes the form of cheap newspapers or bad books, can unfortunately sometimes be attractive" 

Leo Tolstoy "A Calendar of Wisdom"

  There was a period in my late thirties when all I wanted to do was escape from reality. As soon as I put my son to bed, I'd dive headfirst into the couch, watch junk TV, and devour cheese puffs like they were going out of style. Naturally, I gained a good 15 pounds. I wasn't exactly winning any "Mom of the Year" awards. All my energy was dedicated to work and raising my son, leaving zero time for self-care.

But oh, those cheese puffs and junk TV tasted amazing. All I wanted after a long day was to indulge in my own version of "poison." Sure, it was better than turning to drugs or alcohol, but still.

I had this incredibly judgmental neighbor mom who saw me struggling. One day, she sauntered over and said, "If I were you, I'd be a raging alcoholic." Not exactly the most supportive comment, but I'll save that story for another life lesson. Needless to say, I wasn't a "raging alcoholic" like she expected. Instead, I was a raging cheese puff-eating, junk TV-watching addict.

Eventually, I ditched the cheese puffs because they weren’t doing my waistline any favors, but I couldn't kick the junk for my mind. The world is filled with "mind candy" – eye-catching news headlines, the latest celebrity gossip, and, for me, the latest "hot" growth stock to buy now! Every site is vying for our attention with eye-popping clickbait.

Recently, I found myself doomscrolling through news apps, my Google feed, Instagram, and before I knew it, I'd wasted two to three hours on useless information that didn’t serve me at all. I realized that doomscrolling was my new "cheese puffs" – my brain's snack of choice.

Even Tolstoy in 1907 Russia wasn’t immune to this; different poison, same problem.

It was a wake-up call. My scale didn’t scream "three hours on Instagram," but my sore neck and stiff body were loud and clear. It was time to make a change.

I discovered two books that really made a difference for me: James Clear's "Atomic Habits" and Nir Eyal's "Indistractable."

"Indistractable" by Nir Eyal offers advice on becoming more productive by overcoming distractions. Here are some key ideas:

• Understand the psychology of distraction: Distractions are unhealthy ways to escape reality, and the desire to relieve discomfort is the root cause of all behaviors.

• Learn to deal with discomfort: To master distraction, you must learn to deal with discomfort.

• Plan ahead: Planning ahead can help you follow through on what you say you'll do.

• Schedule time for yourself: Make time for yourself and important relationships.

• Hack back external triggers: Remove unnecessary external triggers from your sight, and turn off desktop and mobile notifications.

• Use the ten-minute rule: If you find yourself wanting to check your phone, tell yourself it’s okay, but not right now. Wait just 10 minutes.

My key takeaway is to understand the internal triggers driving me and to be intentional about how I spend my time. I created a schedule for myself, outlining what I'm going to do and how long I'll spend on each activity. I'm not saying I quit social media entirely, but I'm more mindful of my usage. I balance it with activities that help me grow.

I spend less time doomscrolling and more time learning new skills. I'm learning the guitar, I started this blog you’re reading, and I'm spending a lot more time walking. My Fitbit loves me these days!

Ask yourself, what are you feeding your mind?

Sometimes the best things for you aren’t the ones that "taste good" right now but the ones that will "feed" you the most in the long run.

"As long as you live, keep learning how to live." – Seneca

 "As long as you live, keep learning how to live"  Seneca